All Aboard the Train to Random Town

Look. Let's be real. It'd be super great if I could form cohesive thoughts and string them together and write an eloquent and well written blog post but that is just wishful thinking at this point. I feel like my brain exists in little snippets so that's what comes out when I sit down to write. I'll work my way back to writing anything that is remotely compelling. In the meantime, here's some random clusters of sentences that have nothing to do with one another.

1. I love HGTV and I love the show Property Brothers. Sometimes I feel like the homeowners are really bratty and demanding and rude to the Property Brothers. I want to grab these people by the shoulders and tell them to pull it together. You have the Property Brothers making you a beautiful, perfect home in about six weeks. Shut yo mouth. 

2. I made a birthday cake for Grant yesterday. Why? Well, because his birthday was yesterday. How original of me. I made him a classic yellow cake with vanilla icing and sprinkles. Here's the thing. THE CAKE HAS GOT TO GO. It just stares at me all day through the plastic wrap. And there's a handy dandy fork in that cake pan which softly beckons me... "Just a bite!". Liar. The cake is a liar. I've changed the covering to aluminum foil so I can't see it so easily. The bottom line is that the cake needs to get out of my house. 

3. One of my favorite ways to relax is to look at houses online. I know, it's weird. Especially since we are in no way house hunting. I just like to look at different houses in different areas and see how people decorate and what certain houses are going for. That being said, every once in awhile I see a house that I want to show to Grant for various reasons. Tonight I found a house that is beautiful, unique, not too big, not too small, and well within our budget. Grant loved it too. Unfortunately, the house is REALLY far out there. Totally the boonies. As Grant said, "we could live there, but we wouldn't have any friends." This is true. No one would ever come see us. 

4. All the television shows. They are gone for the summer. What am I going to do? How long do I have to wait to find out the answers to all those cliff hangers? Did Dr. Webber actually die? Is Bailey going to find him? Will it send her into a tailspin? And also, who leaked Olivia Pope's name to the press? WAS IT MELLIE?! I just need to know. Also, I will miss Jim and Pam Halpert forever and ever amen. 

5. I'm hungry always. And that's the end of that story.

6. Ellie is crawling everywhere and she is fast. She's not so much crawling as she is pulling herself around on her belly like a wounded soldier. She shows up in rooms and gets into stuff she shouldn't be getting into. Like the time I walked into the kitchen to find her about 5 seconds away from eating dog food out of Moxie's bowl. I caught her in time, but she sobbed as if I had broken her heart. Sorry, sweet girl. I'm just gonna be one of those super strict moms who does not let her kids eat dog food. 

7. Did you know that Target is now selling Panera Mac & Cheese in the refrigerated section? It's true. And it's glorious. Just another reason to love Target....

Okay so this list ends at 7. I had lofty goals of making it to 10 but that's just not how it worked out. To my perfectionist friends, I apologize. 

My First Mother's Day

On Mother's Day 2011, I remember laying in bed that morning and tearing up because I wanted to be a mommy. I wanted a sweet baby and I wanted to start our little family. I kept thinking "Maybe on Mother's Day 2012 I'll have a baby in my arms!". While the timing didn't work out exactly like that, we were pretty darn close.....

On Mother's Day 2012, I was hugely pregnant. Grant decided to give me a sweet gift, a Pre-Natal massage. I was thrilled due to the fact that my back was a hot mess, but I felt kinda silly. I know I was great with child, but I didn't really feel like a mom yet. Heck, I hadn't even seen this baby in me. How could I be honored as a Mother when I had never even looked at my baby's face?

On Mother's Day 2013, I woke up to the sound of my sweet girl chattering in her crib. "da-da-da-da-da....hahaha! babababababaaaaaaa!!!" I walked in to see her sitting up in her bed, clapping her hands, and cracking up laughing the moment she saw me. I scooped her up, kissed all over her cheeks, and hugged her tight. 

For the rest of my life, I'm going to be a mama because of Miss Ellie Paige. She started this new journey I'm walking. I've learned so much and am continuing to learn from my mistakes. We have really great days and really bad days. We have a lot of fun, and we also have meltdowns. Both of us. 

Our days are filled with changing clothes, reading books, banging toys together, taking walks, running errands, getting in and out of the carseat (which she hates), scheduled naps, trying new foods, splashing in the tub, and lots of bottles. She has brought me more joy than I ever, ever though possible. She is exuberant, expressive and delightful..... while also opinionated, stubborn and demanding. She's a tiny little human who will be 10 months old on Thursday. I'm not quite sure how that happened. 

She is my sweet little friend, by happiest girl, my beautiful daughter. I hope and pray that I do right by her. I pray that I don't screw this up. I want her to know how much she is loved. I want her to learn hard lessons and make mistakes. I want to soak this time up because in a few months she'll be a toddler and all this baby stuff will be long gone....

I'm so very thankful that the Lord chose me to be Ellie's mom.