Friday, November 11, 2011
I am sitting in a chair in Starbucks, trying to get some work done. Laptop out. Fresh cup of coffee. In the zone, writing a blog for a client. Meanwhile, I'm trying not to think of the doctor's appointment I had just come from.
Let's rewind a few hours....
That morning I had gone to my doctor to discuss some fertility issues. We'd had talks like this before, so she simply reviewed all of her charts and looked over some charting I had done at home. I really, really like my doctor. She's honest, down to earth, no drama, and to the point. She jokingly said to me, "Yeah, you're really weird" after looking at all my charts. "It doesn't look like your body is doing what it is supposed to. To be honest, I think you might need a little jump start. I think we might need to put you on some meds to see if your body responds to it".
I asked lots of questions about the drugs... about the possibility of having multiples, about the side effects, how it works.... I knew that I needed to talk it over with Grant. My doctor and I agreed that she would write me a prescription for the meds, and after I discussed it with Grant then we would decide whether or not to fill the prescription.
I left the doctor's office and started driving to Starbucks. I was somewhat discouraged. Somewhat hopeful. I was accepting of whatever. I had known for awhile that some of my issues could cause fertility problems and I was praying and telling the Lord that while I would've liked to have already been pregnant, I accepted His will for us and knew that He knew better. As I pulled into Starbucks, Grant texted and said he was in a meeting but he wanted to make sure my appointment went well. I told him we had some stuff to talk about and that we should meet up for lunch.
So now I'm in Starbucks. Trying not to think about this pill and what it could mean and could we have twins or triplets and could I do that and would Grant even agree to it and I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING RIGHT NOW!
My phone rings. It's my doctors office. The office I had just left not even an hour before. I answer it, expecting it to be a nurse. When I answer, I'm surprised (and a little alarmed) to hear my doctor on the other line.
"Oh yes, hi, did I forget something?"
"Well... where are you?"
"Um, I'm at Starbucks? Is everything okay?"
"Do you think you could come back to the office?"
"Right now, yeah, I guess I could... um....." (I immediately start packing up my laptop) ...."Is everything okay?"
"Yes... everything is fine, but um, well... I'm seeing something that might, well... just come back"
"Okay" (I AM PANICKING. PEOPLE IN STARBUCKS ARE STARING AT ME)
"Jen... everything is okay. In fact... everything might be WAY okay."
"Just come back"
"I'll be there in 10 minutes"
That drive. Confusion. Fear. Smiles. Back to confusion. I didn't know what to believe. I just prayed.
From then on, the best I can explain it is this. I was greeted at the doctors office by smiling nurses and doctors. We all stand around and stare at pregnancy tests that would later reveal that I wasn't even three weeks pregnant. Follow it up with weeks of blood tests to confirm that the pregnancy was viable. Doctor told me she isn't quite sure how it all happened... but it did.
Meanwhile, Grant meets me for lunch that day. We sit in Panera as I explain to him what the doctor said about my charts, about the drugs. And then I tell him about Starbucks. And what the rest of the morning involved. His eyes lit up, he smiled... he said "ARE YOU PREGNANT RIGHT NOW?!?"
I just smiled and said "They think it's super super early... but yes, they think I'm pregnant"
And this morning, January 31, I'm sitting at my kitchen table. I have a little bit of a belly. I'll be 15 weeks pregnant this week. In my second trimester, looking forward to hearing our little one's heartbeat again tomorrow. So, so very thankful for this blessing!
God is good.