Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Night Before She Turns Two

I just put my one year old Ellie girl to bed. Tomorrow morning, when she wakes up, she will by my two year old Ellie girl. TWO. How did we get here?

I'm not going to lie, I've been an emotional mess tonight. It started during bath time, and then got worse during PJ time and then really culminated during books and prayers. I was full on crying.

And I'm happy. Of course I'm happy. She has been so much fun recently and I know the fun will continue to increase, as will the cuteness. But TWO is such a big girl. Two is not a baby.

Two will bring more words, more opinions, and more questions. Two will bring dressing herself. Two will bring potty training (LORD, HELP ME JESUS). I can not imagine sticking that little bitty girl on a potty. SHE WILL FALL IN. I just can't even. Two will bring more foods to try and love (Name it and claim it, people.) Two will be goodbye to the pacifier, which we should have done long ago, but it never leaves her bed so she's never using it throughout the day or in public. And also, I'm not ready yet. Two will maybe bring a big girl bed. Two will get rid of the high chair. It's all her sweet little baby things.

I know I'm making this super sappy and dramatic when it doesn't need to be. This is exciting! A celebration! Tomorrow she will wake up to find a play kitchen in our living room. I can't wait to see her face. She has no concept of what her birthday means so she is going to wake up thinking it's a normal day and it's just going to be all kinds of epic.

And oh, do I love her. I miss her when she's not with me.

She loves to sing. She requests specific songs for me to sing or to play on my iPhone. She loves to dance and will ask for music to dance to. "Dancin? I dancin? Songs, Mommy? Songs? I dancin?"

She loves to learn. She can count to ten and she knows all of her colors. She knows all the animal sounds. She loves to repeat things.... even things you don't want her to repeat. Oops.

She makes me crazy, but she's made me grow up. She's brought to my life a level of discipline and responsibility that I've never had before. She's ridded me of my selfishness (mostly) (I still have my moments) and taught me what it means to put another's needs before your own. She puts everything in perspective... cause when my day is going badly and I feel miserable, I just look at her and feel immensely and overwhelmingly blessed. So blessed that I feel like I could never, ever deserve this kind of gift. And I stop whatever I'm doing in that very moment and I thank Jesus for her.

One of the things that I've always prayed for Ellie is that she would be a delight to all who come to know her. I pray that she would bring happiness and joy to people. And so far, I feel like my prayers have been answered exceedingly and abundantly. She IS joy. She is so full of light and love and I pray so fiercely that that never, ever goes away.

Today is July 15, 2014. I wrote a blog on July 15, 2012... titled "The Last Day Without Her". I wrote it the day we went to the hospital, knowing she would be born the very next day. And I read it now and I weep... because I really just had no idea. I had no earthly idea.

Ellie, a few minutes old, July 16, 2012
Her first birthday party

Swimming in June
Playing with friends in July!
Happy Birthday, my sweet Ellie girl. I love you to the moon and back.


Lauren said...

I feel the exact same way. The other day I washed his bumper and a hole formed in a corner--it made me so sad because it's one of his baby things that I'm not ready to say goodbye to!

And the doctor told us we need to break the thumb sucking. It makes me so sad to think about...

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