Eggshell people attack. Eggshell people usually cannot be persuaded to the other side. You're wrong. They are right. End of story.
I've made it a major goal in my own life to not be an eggshell person. I want to remain approachable and warm, even if I disagree with you on something. I don't want to be snappy. I don't want to be sassy. And in the case that any of you out there feel that I am an eggshell person, I am so sorry!
One of the eggshell people in my life recently told me that I need to speak my mind more. I need to confront more and not just keep it to myself. I need to defend myself and I need to stop being such a "mouse".
Before I proceed, I think we can all agree that I am not a mouse. I am quite bold and blunt and speak WAY more than I should. Way more. Waaaaaaay more. For lack of better words, I do not shut up.
However, I think that in a moment of conflict or confrontation, I try to say only what I think would be helpful/beneficial to the situation. If something is going to stir the pot even more, I try to avoid it unless I feel that it is absolutely necessary. I am not saying I have always followed this practice. I've definitely said some things in the heat of the moment that I so desparately wish I could take back.
I'm gonna be flat out honest. I get intimidated very easily. That is an insecurity I'm working through... Oh, insecurity. I wish there was a new book by an acclaimed author on this very subject that I could be reading. :)
The thing is, I sometimes wonder if I'm approaching the eggshell people in the right way. I back down cause I don't want to cause a bigger fight. I tiptoe because I don't want to wake the giant. I appease so that I don't anger. And life is happier that way. Easier. But am I being bullied?
Do you have an "eggshell person" in your life? How do you respond to them?
6 comments:
Oh man! It is so hard to be the lovely, patient, Godly person yet not get walked all over. I pretty much don't deal with people like that. Sometimes I just stare at them and don't say a word and it gets real awkward...that is fun.
I do have eggshell people in my life and they are hard to be around
especially because I am the polar opposite - it takes a lot to offend me and I am pretty easy going
However I am like you - I do not like confrontation - can't everyone just laugh and have a good time :)
oh sweet Jesus I hope I am not an eggshell person!! But I do have some in my life, they are all back home! ha!! :) I wanna do dinner soon with and Lou, what do you think? I need to get out of the house! I had so much fun with you and wanna talk more!
sharing my epiphany....when i really, really want to defend myself and explain to the person that they didn't understand my meaning, my intention, whatever i think i need to say to "fix" it...it is usually because i do not trust GOD to defend me, to "avenge" me. this is something i still struggle with--i want people to like me, to not say bad and/or false things about me. i am often too preoccupied with what they think and with being "right."
i try to focus on what God thinks of me. and it is between them and God if they're bullying, gossiping, unjustly accusing, etc.
i think that your practice to choose your words carefully is VERY WISE--don't let anyone get you stirred up about being a "mouse." it is about being obedient to God's Word. there ARE times to speak up, but i think Jesus' example of saying nothing is a strong one. i'd say he was bullied, no?
--cristina
I want to not "enable" people so much that it's turned into my excuse to be a real "B" sometimes. lol You know what I mean, though. I'm not an enabler and I hope I'm not an eggshell, although, at times I bet I can be since I pretty much always say what I want/think and apparently you can tell exactly what I am thinking just by the look on my face. I didn't know that about myself until somewhat recently (about the look on my face part). Hhhmmm. It's a thought provoker for me, Jen. To not just think about the eggshell people in my life but to consider who I might be one to. There have been people in my life that were so terrible to me in other ways that I was happy to be an eggshell person as use it against other people. Let's think a recent job... wink wink. How wrong it that?! hhmmm
I don't know how I stumbled upon your blog, but boy did you "hit home"! Agree with all that you said today. I was glad to read that there is somebody who has the same feelings as me and that I am not crazy. And yes a book by about insecurity by a great author, reading, reading looking for the answers:)
In Him there is no darkness.
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