There Are Some Things I Need to Share With You

First of all, I had a dream last night that I accidentally fell on Katie Couric. She then proceeded to walk around topless since I had hurt her in her chest area.

In the same dream, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding but I didn't know the bride. And the whole day while we were in our purple dresses and taking pictures I kept telling her "I don't know you.... I DON'T KNOW YOU!" and she would just laugh and give me a necklace to wear.

But now for the important part of the blog.

Grant's parents came in for a visit this weekend. It was amazing. When they come, I never stop eating. Or shopping. We spent several hours in Marshall's and y'all SOME DAMAGE WAS DONE. I did some Christmas shopping but if I'm being totally honest then I have to say that I did a heck-of-alot more ME shopping. And it was good.

I got this darling Jones & New York brown suede jacket that is just darling for fall. DARLING. I've already worn it twice this week and it is a new staple in my wardrobe.

I also got several more fall tops... but there is something else. Something amazing. SOMETHING BIG.

I can't remember if I blogged about this or not, but several months ago there were some shoes at Ann Taylor that changed the way I view America. They were stupidly expensive but I didn't care. I took a week to think about it before I bought them but then I decided that they were meant for me and I was meant for them. I got online to purchase them and IT happened: THE SIZE YOU REQUESTED IS NO LONGER IN STOCK. Ummmm what?!

I called Ann Taylor Customer Service and had a nice long chat with Carol. Carol told me that these shoes were featured on the Today show and ever since that happened the women have been buying them like they were the last shoes on the planet. But they weren't the last shoes on the planet. They were the best shoes on the planet. Leopard print. Pointy toe. Kitten heel. Haircalf. Ankle strap. FANTASTIC. And it was gone.

Carol told me they had the same shoe in a ballet flat and I practically laughed at her. Ballet flat? A BALLET FLAT?! Once you've seen the heel you will never settle for the flat.

Carol then tried to encourage me and say that "sometimes people return the shoes" and "keep checking the website to see if someone returns the shoe". I then sighed and said to her "Carol, no one would ever return this shoe. Ever".

I did check the website. Everyday for 3 weeks. And then I let the dream die.

UNTIL

I went to Marshall's with Grant's mom. I went over to the clearance rack and went to the size 5 section. There were only 6 pairs of shoes total in all of the size 5's. And there was one pair that was glowing... a light was shining around it. They were identical.... IDENTICAL I TELL YOU... to the Ann Taylor shoe. Except they were Cole Haan. And CHEAPER. And had NIKE AIR technology in them. All that I heard was Jewel's hit song of the late 90's, "You Were Meant for Me... and I Was Meant for You"....

I picked them up and carried them with me throughout the store. "I won't lose you again" I said to myself. I decided to call Grant cause since they were Cole Haan, and even on clearance they were more than I usually spend. I dialed Grant's number... he was on the golf course with his dad.... I had this whole speech planned out in my head. I was mainly going to focus on the whole "remember how I didn't shut up about those shoes for a month" and I was going to try to imply that he would have to endure the same torture if these shoes did not leave Marshall's with me on that very day.

Just as his phone was ringing an angel in the form of my mother-in-law said "Hang up the phone".

"But...." I started to explain the whole "he will kill me if I don't atleast run this by him".

"I am always buying things for the grandbabies and y'all don't have any babies so this is your grandbaby gift".

"Hello?" Grant says on the phone.

"NEVER MIND!!!" I said and then I hung up and jumped up and down like a 6 year old girl.

To Grant's mom (MADDY!) if you are reading this... thank you thank you THANK YOU!!

I did take a picture with my phone. Before you scroll down to see the pic you should be warned that 1) My skin is the palest skin of all the skins in the world 2) I have an ant bite on my ankle and 3) My ankle is in fact a cankle.

This is not a flattering picture of my foot area BUT THE SHOES!! THE SHOES!!

Enjoy :)

That One Post Where I Was So UnCreative I Just Answered Survey Questions

I was visiting my friend Heather's blog the other day and loved getting to know her through this fun questionaire. I thought it was the perfect Sunday evening post. :)

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while your blogging?

Did you know that horses will eat themselves to death? If there is food in front of them, they eat it. I am just like the horse. I won't eat myself to death, but I'll eat myself to gaining 7 pounds in one sitting. Due to this sad fact, I try not to snack at home. There is just too much at my fingertips and nothing to stop me. I do, however, blog at work often in the early morning. So sometimes I am eating breakfast while blogging. Sometimes this is a kolache. Sometimes it is cereal. Sometimes it is a rice krispy treat.

2. What is one thing you don't want to live without?

AIR CONDITIONING.

3. Beach, Mountains, or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?

Mountains. I'm far too pale to enjoy a beach and a farm would get too hot and involves too much work/effort. Mountains are cozy.

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty?

Really anything involving clothing. Washing, folding, putting away. Ironing. Taking them to and from the dry cleaner. No fun.

5. Who do people say you remind them of?

Pretty much any and all of the Victoria Secret models.

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying home with the fam?

Both. I love to socialize but I also love love love having nights in. I'm secretly a homebody that just happens to love seeing people.

7. What's your all time favorite movie?

This is not the good-Christian-girl answer but I'm gonna go with Moulin Rouge. It involves singing and love and it is a musical and it when Ewan McGregor sings "We should be lovers and that's a fact" on top of the elephant I fall over.

8. Do you sleep in your make-up or remove it like a good little girl every night?

I have these make up remover towelette things that do the trick!

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it?

Sometimes I wish I knew how to figure skate. I think they just look so beautiful and graceful.

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at?

Celebrity trivia. I have a freakishly good memory and can tell you random facts about most celebrities. And their families. This is mostly due to the fact that I am a People magazine subscriber, an Enterainment Weekly subscriber, and I visit people.com everyday.

11. What first attracted you to your spouse?

His gorgeous blue eyes. And I love his voice. Plus, from the very beginning, he told me like it is. Love that about him. And he said that he liked me. Very much. Just as I am.

12. What is something you love to smell?

When I walk into my mom's house around the holidays and she has this apple cider thing going on the stove...

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.

I don't stop talking. Ever.

14. When you have extra money, what's the first thing you think to do with it?

I go have an hour long visit with my friend Ann Taylor. We meet in her Loft.

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?Way way way too loud. And when my closest friends and family say funny things or when I see something absurd that really shocks or surprises me I get a bit uncontrollable.

16. Where is your favorite place to shop?

Target. Ann Taylor. Marshall's. Nine West.

17. What is one thing you would do more often if you had more time?

I would want to read more and actually study some things.

18. Are you a big spender or frugal?

Believe it or not, in our family, Grant is the bigger spender. I will spend a chunk once every 2 months. Grant will spend a little bit of money several times throughout the week.

19. Who is your favorite character of all time? (from a movie or a book, can't be real)

This is hard.... Jim Halpert, maybe?

20. Would you want to be famous?

This is a tough one..... I think the best way for me to answer it is that there are times when I really want to perform. On stage.... but not in a IWantEveryoneToLoveMe kind of way, but more in a IWantToPerformAndSingGreatSongs kind of way. I don't think I want to be famous though. I think we all need some sort of ambiguity. I mean Lord knows there are times when we just do not need to be photographed.

Accomplishment

I left work on time today. Not 9:00 at night, but 5:00. Like a normal human being.

I came straight home. I did not pass go. I did not collect two hundred dollars.

I walked the dog.

I cooked dinner.

Let me say that one again. I COOKED THE DINNER. I think Taco Bell misses me.

I did laundry. Did you hear that? LAUNDRY!

I watched 3 television shows. Community, The Office, and Grey's Anatomy in case you were wondering. Grey's was intense.

I cleaned my counters.

I opened some mail.

I threw away trash that has been in my purse. I didn't really need that receipt for my $2.78 purchase from Kolache Factory from July 19. Nor did I need to hang on to 24 orbit gum wrappers.

I did the dishes. I dusted the bookshelves.

I got out my fall candles.

I HAD AN EVENING AT HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OVER A WEEK.

Praise the Lord.... I am already feeling better.

I should add that Grant helped ALOT. He cleaned the bathroom floors and vacuumed for me and threw things away that needed to be thrown away. I adore him. He is so wonderful.

And I am so excited because Grant's parents are coming to visit tomorrow! I am so glad that they will be here this weekend, it has been way too long since I have seen them. Grant and his dad will be playing some golf while me and mom will be shopping it up! I am determined to get some Christmas presents out of the way. So far I have only purchased three so I have alot to get done.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Where Has Jen Been?

Jen has been away from the internet for almost a week.

Jen has been overwhelmed.

Jen has been working 10 hours of overtime in the last seven days, including 4 hours on Sunday.

Jen has been teaching Christmas music to her kids choir.

Jen has been at Mr. Hooper's funeral.

Jen has been having an allergy attack.

Jen has been under the influence of Benadryl.

Jen has been under the influence of a Benadryl hangover.

Jen has been trying to find out what the heck is wrong with her left eyelid since it swelled up to the size of a golf ball.

Jen has been a bridesmaid.

Jen has been so happy for Tiffany and Justin.

Jen has been well taken care of by Grant.

Jen has been ready to get back to a normal routine and read up on all the blogs.

Jen has been craving fettucine alfredo.

Hope: Revisited

In an amazing turn of events, Jen the Newlywed found hope tonight.

As I flipped through the home listings on the internet, I sighed as I said to Grant "I'm sad". Again, I felt that we were so close to finally being in a home and then it was just gone. I know this sounds silly, but I have kinda had it in my mind that my goal was to be in a home by December. I really want to spend Christmas in our own place and decorate it just how I've always imagined it. The last week or so, I felt that dream slipping further and further away... I have been feeling unsettled and stressed and altogether not at peace. Hope was beginning to seem dim.

I got up from the couch and decided I was going to spend some time reading my Bible and doing my devotional. And then it happened: I REALIZED THAT HE IS HEARING ME.

The first moment was when I was reading my devotional and the author said "Jesus is my firm foundation". I kinda chuckled when I read that. We've been using the word "foundation" alot lately since that was a major reason we had to walk away from this house. I decided I needed to make that my motto...Jesus is my firm foundation.

The second moment happened when the passage in my book directed me to read Psalm 84. Below are some of the verses from the Psalm...

How lovely is Your dwelling place

O Lord Almighty

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the Courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-

a place near Your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in Your house;

they are ever praising You.

Blessed are those whose strength is in You.

Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does He withhold

from those whose walk is blamless.

O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in You.

I was absolutely floored at how many references are made in that chapter to homes and houses and dwellings and shelters. I have read that chapter hundreds of times and sang the song that came out of it and tonight it became alive to me.

Lastly, I decided I wanted to write down "Jesus is my firm foundation" and also make it a note to memorize Psalm 84. I opened my nightstand drawer, digging for a piece of paper to write these things down on as a reminder. I found a paper folder in half. One side had a bunch of prayer requests written down on it. It was a little too full so I flipped the paper over to the other side to see if it was blank. It was blank, mostly. But on top of it, in my own handwriting, the following was written in big, bubbly, capital letters:

HOPE.

Nothing underneath it. Nothing explaining why I wrote that. Just the word "Hope". Who knows how long that paper has been shoved back there. But there it was, practically yelling at me. HOPE.

It was then that I realized that He is hearing me. He is hearing my heart. He hears that I'm sad. He hears that I'm tired of this and feeling a bit hopeless. But He wanted me to know tonight that He is hearing me and that I'm not talking to empty space when I pray to Him. He revealed it to me with Jesus is my firm foundation. He revealed it to me in Psalm 84... that He is my sun and my shield and that I would rather be in the rooms of HIS house than any house of my own. And He revealed it to me in my own handwriting.

HOPE.

He is my firm foundation. He does not crack, He will not shift. He is steady. His ways are perfect. He is knowledge and truth. He will make all things known. His plans are for us to prosper... His plans for us have a future and a hope. I will trust in the Lord with all my heart. I will lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I will acknowledge Him, and He will make my path straight. His WORD is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

I had to get this out, I had to type it before I fell asleep. I had to shout from the rooftops that my God made Himself very real to me tonight.

Thank You, Jesus for hearing me. And thank You for opening my eyes and opening my heart to realize and see that You were telling me ever so softly... "Hope, my daughter. Hope".

Mr. Hooper

Even after we had to walk away from the house we wanted to buy, even after Grant stayed home from work all 5 days because he was so sick, on Friday afternoon my week got even worse.


My law office has 3 partners. Mr. Hooper is one of the senior partners. He has been part owner of this law firm for the last 25 years. For the last few years he has been semi-retired. He comes into the office about 3 to 4 days a week. His office is right next to mine.

I adore Mr. Hooper. He is an older gentlemen. He is very grandfatherly. He is boistrous, funny, ornery, kind, and generous. He teases us and loves to stir the pot (in a fun way). I always love when Mr. Hooper is in the office.

Friday morning he walked in and did his usual "Gooood morning, Jennifer!". He asked about Grant and how he was doing, if he was feeling better. He did a little bit of work. Then when the girls and I started talking about what we wanted to do for lunch, he informed us that he would be buying our lunch today. Later, me, the girls and Mr. Hooper sat at the kitchen table for over an hour. We ate lunch together and I talked to him about what he was going to do this weekend and we talked about his grandkids. It was such a nice visit.

After lunch, Mr. Hooper said he was going to go run an errand and said that he would be back.

He went to his chiropractor's office. It was there that he said "I'm not feeling very well", and then he took his final breath. Mr. Hooper passed away Friday afternoon.

Our office was in complete shock. I literally didn't believe it since we just been with him not even 3 hours before we got the phone call. The assumption is heart attack... it is just so gosh darn sudden. How could someone be so alive one minute and then not here the next? How can he be shooting rubberbands at me at 12:30 and be dead at 2:30?

I am just so sad. I am so sad for his kids, for his grandkids. Mr. Hooper's wife died of cancer several years ago. For the last year or two he has been "dating" a sweet woman named Missy. They go to lunch together and go see plays and go out to eat and they were really good companions for one another. I hurt for her.

I am sad for our office. We lost our big teddy bear. One time, my co-worker had to bring her little boy to the office for an hour or so. While he was there, Mr. Hooper put the little boy in his big chair and let him play computer games on his computer. Meanwhile, Mr. Hooper sat on the other side of the desk and did his work from the other end. It was so funny to see the little guy in this big 'ol attorney's chair playing a Looney Tunes game while Mr. Hooper sat on the other end and did some research. He was just so sweet.

It really makes me realize how precious life is, but also how fleeting life is. It can be over in an instant. It makes me want to tell everyone how much I love them and could everyone just stay home please and take care of themselves?!?!?

Tomorrow I have to go back to the office. I feel like I'm all cried out but something tells me that walking by his office and saying his name every time I answer the phone (since Hooper is in the name of the firm) and trying to decide what to do with his mail... I feel like we will all be very emotional tomorrow.

Y'all... I am just spent. This weekend has helped alot. I feel rejuvenated but also a bit hesitant to begin this week. Grant has a whole week's worth of work to make up. We have to start the house hunt again and there will be alot going on in my office in the wake of Mr. Hooper's death.

I am praying for peace, for rest and for a bit of joy this week. I could really use some HAPPY!

Here's to a new week and a fresh start. Thankfully, the temperatures have dropped and I can cozy up in a nice sweater.....

I hope y'all have a great week.

Top 10 Reasons I Want It To Be Cold

1. I would rather be cold than hot. You can always put on more clothes to get warm. But there is only a certain amount of layers you can remove before you start to cross the line to inappropriate.

2. I am not an outdoors-y girl. When it is hot outside, many people host lots of activities and events that are held outside. Ball games, birthday parties, weddings, things involving a swimming pool, etc. I go to these things and I am secretly miserable because it is 108 degrees and I'm sweating half my body weight and trying to look poised. Ain't working. If it gets colder, people will start having parties INSIDE, as God intended.

3. I get to wear fuzzy socks. 4. I get to wear sweatshirts without looking scrubby.

5. I LOVE wearing sweaters and I have many of them that have been missing me. There is a grey one in particular that I have been wanting to wear. And I bought 2 new ones from Ann Taylor with my birthday money that I'm excited to introduce into my work wardrobe.

6. I can welcome the scarf back into my life.

7. I can wear a new rotating group of clothing to work. All my hot weather clothes are getting a bit redundant. I am ready to wear something new!! And hello tall black boots!!

8. Everyone else is pale too and I feel less bad about how opposite of tan I am.

9. I can drink warm drinks like coffee and hot cocoa and hot tea and cider without feeling silly. And fireplaces! OH I LOVE FIREPLACES!

10. CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON!!!

Survey Shmurvey

My friend Jessica awarded me with this fun bloggy award! I felt like a "light" blogging day so we'll just do this fun little survey for today's post.

Rules

1. You can only use one word.

2. Pass this along to six of your favorite bloggers.

3. Alert them that you have given them this award.

4. Have fun!

The Survey:

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk

2. Your hair? Red

3. Your mother? Amazing

4. Your father? Wise

5. Your favorite food? Pasta

6. Your dream last night? Shoes

7. Your favorite drink? DietCoke

8. Your dream/goal? Settled

9. What room are you in? Office

10. Your hobby? Blog

11. Your fear? Failure

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Mommy

13. Where were you last night? Church

14. Something that you aren't? Athletic

15. Muffins? BananaNut

16. Wish List Item? Christmastime

17. Where did you grow up? Cypress

18. Last thing you did? Breakfast

19. What are you wearing? Cardigan

20. Your TV? Big

21. Your pets? LOVE :)

22. Friends? Far

23. Your life? Blessed

24. Your mood? Chill

25. Missing someone? Joanna

26. Vehicle: Honda

27. Something you're not wearing: Socks

28. Your favorite store? Target

29. Your favorite color? Gold

30. When was the last time you laughed? 8:05

31. Last time you cried? Saturday

32. Your best friend? Many

33. One place that I go over and over? Kroger

34. One person who emails me regularly? Boss

35. Favorite place to eat? Del Pueblo

That was fun. And yes, if something simply has to be 2 words you can take the space out in between and form one word. That is not cheating. That is problem solving.

I tag:

Kelli at Breathing His Joy

Heather at Step Inside

Jennifer at The Woolleys

Laura at Screaming to Jesus

Rebecca at The Life of Me

Ashley at Life Beyond the Pink

Enjoy!!

Feeling Better

Thanks everyone for you sweet comments from my pity party post that I hosted there in my previous entry. Sometimes you just have to vent! We are extremely thankful that we are not purchasing this home. While the interior and the idea of it seemed great, the foundation would not have held.

I feel like some of us make alot of choices in life that are just like that. The idea of it, the cosmetics of it, the uniqueness of it is the attraction. But the structure, the framing, the very core of its foundation is not steady and will crumble if you live there too long. I think people who begin relationships, careers, or choose a new religion often get sucked in by the wood floors and granite countertops. But they are not looking at the cracks in the brick or the bad wiring in the walls. It will be "pretty" for awhile but eventually it is not going to be able to protect you and sustain you.

Thanks for letting me explore that metaphor. :)

Meanwhile, Grant is still sick in bed. This morning was the 3rd morning in a row that he has woken up with a fever over 101 degrees. He told me this morning that he is beginning to feel like he is in the movie "Groundhog Day". Poor thing. I've got him powered up with Gatorade, Tylenol, his prescription meds, ice packs, blankets, golf magazines and the xbox. Also, for dinner last night I made a BIG dinner that will provide lots of leftovers for the rest of the week. Hopefully he will be able to eat something of substance now besides just soup. I am so ready for him to get better. It makes me sad... plus I haven't hugged or kissed him since Sunday and that is really starting to get old. He is getting pretty behind at work though and that is stressing him out.

He has been on the internet a little bit starting the house hunt again. I just can't do it yet. I'm just tired and not in the mood to dive back in to house hunting. I think after this weekend I will be able to look again.

In other news: Jim and Pam get married tomorrow. I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I am SO excited. Because they are not television characters. They are real people.

Fail

Today has been less than awesome.

My husband has been sick all day with the flu. High grade fever, just all together yucky. And then he found out that his friend he was with all weekend has the swine flu. So that's neat.

I've been feeling a bit blah and my allergies are all flaring up. I have been avoiding my husband because I don't want to get his sickness.

And I've really really needed a hug today from him.

Ya know why?

Cause tonight I had planned to let the cat out of the bag. Tonight I was going to announce to y'all that we found a TOTALLY COOL, TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL house and all that jazz. I was just waiting for it to pass inspection.

Um.... it didn't pass inspection.

Not even close.

I spent the better part of the day sneezing while following an inspector around trying to understand this mumbo jumbo. Grant is all sick in bed and I was left with the task of talking to the inspector. After about an hour I realized it was a bunch of "this is not good" and "this will cost 1 million dollars to fix" and "the house is going to fall down on your head in the middle of the night" and "I hope you don't mind showering in freezing cold water". And it was not the news I wanted to hear.

So now we are back to square one. Back to the drawing board. Thankfully, we were protected from buying a home that would have been a bad investment. The Lord protected us from something that would not have been good for us. I am just sad though. And tired.

I just cleaned the kitchen. So some progress has been made today. Everything else has been a giant step backwards.

Pity party is now over. Thank you for attending.

Love y'all....