Monday, May 24, 2010

There Was a Leaky Faucet in Church Yesterday

And the leaky faucet was me.

Our dear Pastor Gregg did an entire sermon on the increasingly relevant topic of infertility.

He did a fantastic job. He came at it with a spirit of prayer, gentleness, empathy, truth, and sincerity.

I cried the entire time. I'll break my emotions down for you in 4 parts.

PART ONE

A couple from the congregation shared their testimony of their journey with infertility. Hearing their struggles and their victories is what initially brought tears to my eyes.

PART TWO

As Pastor Gregg began to preach, images and memories of some of my dearest friends and family members came to mind. Some of my dearest girlfriends and my sisters have fought this battle. Thinking of the children that have come from their struggles, the miscarriages that have taken place, and those that still have empty cradles were on my mind and in my heart. Tears started flowing a bit harder.

PART THREE

This is the part of the sermon where it got a bit personal. And this is the part of the blog where I am about to get a bit personal. You see, this is the part where Pastor Gregg started preaching some TRUTH over me. He said that A CHILD IS A GIFT, NOT A RIGHT. It cannot be an expectation that it will automatically happen for you.

This was very real to me as I have slowly come to grips with the fact that I may struggle with this very issue. Last year, I was diagnosed with something that may or may not affect my ability to conceive. Again, we could have no problem at all, but it is a very real possibility that we could have a problem. I try not to think about it too much as we are not yet ready to start our family and therefore can't spend too much time thinking about it. No use fretting over something that we aren't even sure is a problem yet.

But hearing those words, and knowing that it very well may be that God has chosen a different path for me and Grant overwhelmed me.

He then explained that even those who don't have children in their home need to know that they are complete. Their family is complete in Jesus and they are lacking nothing.

Heavy, heavy tears started here.

PART FOUR

At the end of the service, Pastor Gregg invited those that are struggling with infertility or those that would like to intercede on their behalf to come forward to the prayer rails. THERE WAS NO ROOM AT THE ALTAR. People flooded the front of the church. There simply was no more room. I wept as I saw couples walking to the altar together, most of them weeping themselves. Some were even pregnant. Others looked too old to conceive, and they seemed to cry the hardest.

Two girls sang "All of You is more than enough for all of me" as we as a congregation prayed over these couples. Gregg was on his knees asking the Lord to open the wombs of those that were gathered. All of my emotions were now combined and exploding and I was doing the "I CAN'T STOP CRYING" thing like women do.

It was one of the most touching and important services of my life. Even if I was a hot mess.

I invite you to listen to his sermon if this is something that you think you need to hear. I have a link to it here.

And now I am back to doing the ugly cry.

Thank You, Lord, for truth.

10 comments:

Lindsey said...

Oh, girl....I will be listening to this tonight...after I have removed my makeup for the day!

Thanks for the reminder to be praying for all of those mommies and daddies!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing. I don't know you, don't know how I found your blog- but I like it.
And I cannot believe I'm going to say this.. but... I wasn't sure I wanted to get pregnant- ever and I did- baby is a suprise, a complete suprise. We really REALLY struggled at first and some days I'm still not sure I'm cut out for what is to come (due Oct2010) but I can tell you one thing I've learned for sure. My baby, babies in general really ARE a gift from God and a blessing that is beyond words. Thank you for sharing this sermon, it made me cry to. I thank God every day for my new blessing and accept his plan and I pray for anyone else out there who is struggling with what was my issue or the issue of infertility.
Again, thanks for sharing.

Taylor said...

Jen,

I just listened to the blog re-cap video for Beth Moore's most recent event in Grand Rapids...the video was set to Travis singing "I Will Sing of My Redeemer." He is Redeemer! Everything that was lost or taken--He buys back. I know that we know that, but it's so wonderful to be reminded of it. Ah, this might be a tad long, but one last thought. I was reading the first chapter of Ruth a while back and really identifying with Naomi when she says (paraphrase), "I was full, but now I'm empty. Don't call me Naomi (pleasant), call me bitter." I prayed before the Lord, telling Him of my own emptiness and that I "got" Naomi. I was asking Him, "how do I avoid being bitter?" She was letting her circumstances determine her feelings. But how do we not? You know? It seems logical to me...we often "feel" the circumstances. (And in the midst of the feelings that result from our sight, we choose to walk by faith.)

It was as if the Lord said, "What if life is not really about the circumstances--sometimes we're full, sometimes we're empty--at the end of the day, it's all about the Redeemer. Boaz. Jesus."

He uses every circumstance, and at the end of it all, He redeems.

I pray that His faithfulness is your guard in every area of life. He loves us so.

Blessings to you,
Taylor

Rusty and Jennifer said...

I too, was a leaky faucet... shocking, I know.
As we knelt at the alter, I could not even pray. I just bawled my eyes out.
But, the most amazing thing was to see those of our friends that had come down to pray on our behalf. I was so humbled.

Love you, friend. I pray that you never have to face this terrible struggle, but I understand your fears of it. I can promise you that if you do have to walk that road, I for one will be here by your side for the whole journey!

Heather said...

Girl I was crying too, I was trying not to but it just came. It came for a different reason for me. I am the popular phrase fertile myrtle. Matt could just be in the room with me and I would be pregnant. I was weeping for the women coming front wanting a baby so desperately. I was the teenage girl not even thinking of a baby and yet God BLESSED me with one, for reasons I don't know I will ever understand. It moved me to tears when he said girls able to get pregnant so easy and they go straight to the abortion clinic, while those that would be raised in a godly home just can't get pregnant. Some things I will never understand. Thanks for sharing your heart, I love hearing it!

Jennifer said...

I was the same way. I even cried all the way home.

Lindsee said...

I seriously can't wait to listen to it. If I'd of been there, I'm sure I would have been a leaky faucet as well. I think my favorite part of what you wrote that he said is that a child is a gift, not a right. Amen, amen, amen! I pray people hear and understand that. Such a precious gift. Not something anybody deserves. And I believe that God will protect your heart and mind even if you do deal with these struggles, but I pray you won't have to. Love you!

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for posting this! I greatly admire your pastor for addressing this deep struggle that so many dodge from talking about!

Kelli said...

I haven't been able to muster the courage to listen to it yet.

I am hoping to tonight.

But I have been praying for you and your future babies since we talked at Papasitos.

I love your heart so so much sweet friend.

Darryl Iorio said...

That was a nice way of putting it Jen. We can all turn to leaky faucets from time to time. I hope you’re doing ok now with your infertility issues. As with all plumbing problems, we all just need to call on the right technician to help us fix the problem and it’s as good as new. In this case, it was the priest who repaired the damage for you. I hope you inspire more people by your story.