Saturday, April 12, 2008

I Just Need a Moment...

.... to discuss my husband's hobbies. If you want to call them that. I will never, ever, ever in my entire life understand how that brain works.

I know that the Lord made men and women different. I love that. We compliment each other so well. But men are just weird. I'm just sayin.

Lets start with FISHING. Hubby loves to fish. He does this activity in several different variations. I've created an outline for you:

I. BOAT FISHING

A. Grant, his dad, and his brother will wake up at the butt crack of dawn to drive 3 hours to a marina, and put the boat in the water. THEN they will drive the boat 2 hours out into the Gulf of Mexico until they find the right spot. THEN they will spend 4 to 5 hours in the heat, with no bathroom facilities trying to catch fish on hook. If they catch the aforementioned fish, they put their fingers into his nasty Gulf of Mexicoed mouth to let the hook out. THEN....they throw the fish BACK INTO THE WATER. I mean honestly...

B. After they decide they've had enough hours in the heat and they are bloody enough, they drive the 2 HOURS back to shore, load the boat up onto the trailer, drive the 3 HOURS back to the house, and then spend the rest of the evening cleaning the blood out of the boat. They typically finish their day's activities around 9-10:00 at night. I am just bewildered.


II. POND FISHING

A. Grant and I were recently driving down I-10, and if you looked to our right, through the trees, you could see a small pond. Grant went bonkers. "THERE! How do I get THERE!?!". He proceeds to exit onto this random road and we drove around for 30 minutes trying to find this pond.

B. Once he finds this pond, he typically will get the fishing pole out of his car, or perhaps he will use the collapsible fishing pole he keeps in his golf bag (cause you know, there are small bodies of water on golf courses that may contain things that swim...turtles included). Again, he throws these fish back. Astonishing.


III. KAYAK FISHING- His Newest Obsession.

A. This one is the weirdest to me. Have you ever sat in a kayak? You are sitting in a little hole. You can't turn to the right or left. You can't stand up. You can't even stretch. I mean what if your back starts to hurt? Grant got up this morning to go kayak fishing, and he left earlier than he gets up for work during the week. Crazy.

B. Not to mention the pre-fishing and post-fishing work out that has to happen to get the kayak on and off our HONDA CIVIC. Crazy men. (Also, the guys Grant have been kayak fishing with have been opting to bring their DOGS with them and they put their dog into the small kayak hole with them while they fish. I mean really people...

Moving on to GOLF. I don't think there is something my husband spends more time thinking about and fretting over than golf. It's the game he loves to hate. This hobby I don't have as much confusion over. But it is just so HOT and he will get up SO SO early on his ONE day off and spend the whole morning in the HEAT. (Can you tell I'm not a hot weather person?). He also takes golf lessons, where someone basically stands there and tells him all the things he is doing wrong and Grant gets SO excited. He likes to hear that he is doing things incorrectly. It "improves his game". Okay, weirdo.

POKER. Let's play a card game that steals your money. Sounds fantastic.

I think what really just perplexes me is that all of these activities are so LONG in length! They all take up entire days and they are all outdoors and I just cannot be outside that long.

I am married to a very logical man. But none of these activities seem logical to me. Really. I am not trying to be a hater, but I definitely am not a participator.

I spent last Saturday enjoying the excellent movie "The American President" on Lifetime. Love that.

I will leave you with husband's favorite picture:

That big stick he is holding onto has a giant hook on the end of it that they stick into the side of the fish. It gets them all bloody. Also, apparently that fish Grant is torturing is called a dolphin. I was really upset when he first told me that he caught some dolphin. There are two kinds, so that's okay. I would be really mad if it was the Flipper kind. And I think Sea World would also have a hey day with him over that.

Oh, and one more thing... The "Inga Mystery" has been solved. World's Craziest Coincidence!

4 comments:

Katie said...

LOL! Ditto ditto ditto! I thought the very same thing when I rolled over at 6am this morning to turn the alarm off for Mo AND apparently I didn't stay awake long enough to shake him and and wake him up so we both proceeded to sleep for another 45 mins - and then he FREAKED out when he realized he missed 45 mins of good kayak fishing....COME ON!!

cristina said...

so funny! i don't get the fishing stuff either--but i was raised in the desert, so i'm not surprised.

my hubby likes two out of three--golf and poker. poker is very logical...it's all about probabilities, learning how to bet is key. the last time i played was his annual birthday bash, came in second (beating him). hee hee hee..

as for golf, i will NOT play in the heat. i'm with you on that...although i can't figure which is worse the oven-type heat of el paso or the steam-bath heat here. i do recognize that the humidity is MUCH better for my skin though...i am refusing to age gracefully (i think that's why i blog, i convince myself i'm as hip and young as y'all).

bottom line, if you can't convince him to change his hobbies, join him. :)

Jon & Sally said...

Seriously. I laughed the whole way through. This is surely a crazy phenomena called man. I just can't get over it!!
The shocking thing about all of these hobbies is that they take SO MUCH effort! It's not like tennis or basketball or even running...where you just go to a local park (approx 5 min drive) and enjoy your hobby. This man must be DESPERATE! Seriously CRACKS me up!
I love that you two are so different and you relish it! What fun that you're so likably (the dictionary on my Mac says that IS a word) opposite!
This is the last time I'm going to say this in a comment post (promise)...but you seriously need to do some free-lance writing work! Contact a magazine or something!!
I love you my hilarious friend! Your laughter makes my life bright!
Sally

Dana said...

Girl I can relate...the whole haul the Kayak, carry the Kayak, dump the Kayak, yada yada yada. I don't get it, but he sure comes home happy- that makes me happy.
Blessings,
Dana